Autobiography of an idiot...

Kodad, 20th October 2008.

"Conscience is the ultimate judge of the righteousness of thy deeds". Having a great faith in these words of Gandhi, I write this.

I was born as an eldest son in fourth generation in an aristocrat family in a town Kodad founded by my great grandfather (He was a Zamindar under the Nizams). My grandfather Late.Marla.Chandra Mouli commended a lot of respect in each and every dimension. My father Late.Marla Janaki Ramaiah was one of the key figures of the town who carried the legacy of his elders to the fullest possible extent. He spent some time in law in which he graduated and later moved on to business to become one of the wealthiest in town. I have three siblings, two brothers and a sister, who was the youngest. We were blessed with a pretty decent life in the idyllic setting of ours.

As fate has a very bad habit of messing life when the latter was at its best, my parents were separated due to difference of opinion when I finished my tenth standard. My father made us immune to such a devastating episode with his love and care. My father remarried and my step mom was a windfall to us in such an awful scenario. She embraced us as her own and relinquished motherhood.

I was deemed a sensible lad by teachers and peers since I was a kid. I studied in Telugu medium till seventh standard and then switched to a convent for the latter part. I used to be first in class for most of the time and in tenth standard I was ranked fifth in the state in APRJC exam. I opted biology as a major to fulfill the wish of my grandfather to see me as a doctor. My credentials won me a freeship at one of the finest residential Jr. Colleges in AP. I excelled in physics in plus one and two so much so that the physics teachers used to deny taking class in my absence. I cleared AFMC, Manipal and my EAMCET. I failed at the medical test in AFMC due to keratoconus (irregular astigmatism). As Manipal was the best of the remaining, I joined the same.

I was picked up by none other than the then Vice Chancellor Dr.B.M.Hegde, a versatile genius and a physician par excellence. He literally molded every inch of my character and pretty soon I became the most known person in the college dealing everything from student council affairs to conferences. My resourcefulness caught the eye of Dr.Arunachalam Kumar, then HOD of anatomy and Chairman of Golden Jubilee Celebrations of my university. That was the height of my professional excellence. Later on I was placed in the Editorial boards of my college magazine and Golden Jubilee souvenirs. I also worked as a coordinator for medical education department. Academically basic sciences interested me and the teachings of my mentors drove me to explore the field of medical research. I published a paper in an international journal as a student and attended many conferences and presented many seminars. I mentored almost every community medicine thesis ever produced during my stay in college. I also won an ICMR short term studentship. I finally won a medal and felicitation for my research in 2004 which was the most wonderful day of my life. Joined as an arrogant, stubborn and nerdy lad in KMC, I left its portals as a matured, affable and conservative youngster.

After graduation I moved to Hyderabad for my internship so that I can be close to my family. I worked very hard during those times as I wished to not to depend on my dad financially. I did enjoy what it meant to be the beauty of hard work and I was rewarded equally by quick promotions and recognition. It was at those times that I understood how apt my skills are to excel in clinical medicine and I got the opportunity to work under world renowned doctors such as D.N.Reddy, R.V.Rao and U.R.K.Rao. D.N’s professionalism, R.V’s pride and U.R.K’s passion towards the subject caught my attention. I realized that a dash of A.K’s eccentricity and an ounce of B.M.H’s holistic approach to the former would make a perfect recipe for my career. I decided to take up internal medicine in post graduation. In this frame of mind I started preparing for post graduate entrances.

In March 2006, my grandfather was diagnosed of liver cancer which started a whirlwind downfall in my life. He died of the complications in May and it pushed me in to deep depression as I was emotionally attached to him more than my dad. Repercussions of that mishap resulted in my bad performance at entrances. To get out of it, I took up a research project at my college. I was also nominated for the innovative young biotechnologist award instituted by govt. of India. After that I moved to my native place to fully immerse myself in the entrance preparation and also started a small time practice at my native place. My dad’s diabetes worsened at the same time and he slipped in to renal failure. I started sharing some of his responsibilities.

In the mean time, my entrances came up and I did reasonably well and I cleared CMC Ludhiana. My dad was pretty happy to see me at the helm of things but then again fate thought otherwise. My dad passed away in my absence. The cause of his death was a very simple electrolyte abnormality which I could have easily corrected had I been there. After my dad’s death, my step mother became very insecure and coupled to that the greed of her brothers and her low education level made a mess of things. As I was about to slip in to my dad’s shoes, my step mother’s brothers made her demand for her share of property. I was ready to oblige, given sacrifices she made for us but the share they demanded was not just in any dimension. Warnings from my well wishers alarmed me the real motives behind their actions. Apart from that the sky rocketing prices of real estates necessitated a thorough knowledge of what I own. I even had the responsibility of the studies of my sister and developing the careers of my brothers. The chaotic nature of the things at home made me renounce my post-graduation.

I got an admission for my sister in a reputed college in Hyderabad in MSc. Biochemistry. My brother came back from UK, finishing his MBA and he is aiding me in the errands and started a business of his own in equity market. My other brother also finished his MBA and started working in Hyderabad as an assistant director in EA sports, the finest video game company in the world. Dr.Bhaskar Rao, CEO of KIMS was impressed with my talent and made me a registrar in cardiology even though I didn’t finish my MD. He even offered me to take up DNB in his institute to finish my post graduation.

My immediate priority on the social front is to settle the financial swashbuckling with my step mother so that I wouldn’t hurt her much and at the same time to take necessary actions to save my ancestral property from slipping in to wrong hands. My dad’s colleagues and other well wishers are kindly helping me in this regard and I’m pursuing both the legal and amicable routes.

Personally the goals I'm contemplating are-

1.      To stabilize myself academically in 3-4 months either by joining DNB/MD (either in NIMS or in KIMS)
2.      To get married to the right girl who understands me well so that I can succeed professionally and otherwise (4-6 months)
3.      To get my sister and brothers married (in 1-3 yrs.)
4.      To pursue a fellowship in Cardiology (in 3-4 yrs.)
5.      To setup a hospital on the name of my grandfather to fulfill his last wish (in 5-6 yrs.)
6.      To aid my brothers in setting up a business firm on the name of my dad (in 5-6 yrs.)

It would be absolutely dishonest on my part to not to mention my negative side. Whether it was the born to royalty or my excellence in academia, I’m arrogant at times. That is especially true when I feel that my ego is being battered. I’m pretty sensitive and impulsive when it comes to criticism. I become very lazy if anything becomes routine. I behave very head-strong about things in which I have absolute belief. I’m very bad at dress sense and I have little regard for physical appearance. I’m a compulsive shopper.

I’m a bundle of contradictions and probably have more bad aspects than good. But I did mature from viewing the world from one pole. Even though born with the silver spoon, I did experience all the grueling aspects of life. My grandfather made it a point that all his children do appreciate the necessity of hard work. (In fact we were made to learn trivia like how to cook, wash clothes and clean dishes in spite of having so many maids). The roller-coaster ride I had in my life in recent times taught how to be patient and to control the anger and not to lose temper too often. KMC taught how to be politically correct most of the times. My greatest realization was that a man achieves greatness not just by succeeding in one aspect but in every facet. If there is anything I learned in my life that would the honesty and the courage to face anything patiently disregarding the quantum, quality and the temporal aspects. My faith in good was solidified by the lives of my grandfather and my father who touched so many lives with their honesty, kindness, good deeds and balanced attitude. I may never achieve their standards but I hope that I would never ever tarnish their magnanimity. My experience taught me that the path to perfection is to shed as many bad features as possible. Hope I’m making progress.

To sum up I’m an average person with some talent in academia and a constant zeal to learn. I believe that everyone’s life is unique unto themselves. The good thing of the uniqueness of my life is that it gave me the opportunity to succeed in all aspects simultaneously. I firmly believe that the difficulties I’m facing are the boons in disguise teaching the dignity and decorum needed to accomplish the honor my family strived for over the years. I did become responsible, matured and balanced over the time but I do accept that I still have a lot to do.

Hope I shall not be a bad human being at least!

 

Yours

Dr.Bharath Vyas Marla.